From Here to Modernity

nakedempire: Buffalo, NY: 'Schools brace for hundreds of layoff...

2011-05-26T09:21:00.000-04:00

nakedempire: Buffalo, NY: 'Schools brace for hundreds of layoff...: "from wivb......... 'Hundreds of layoffs are about to sweep through the Buffalo School District. Seventy-six teachers will be getting pink ..."

This is it, the time has come, I am pulling at your thread until you are gone

2010-09-13T19:51:00.001-04:00

OH the things I have to say. Oh the words that have been knocking at back of my teeth aching to get out. I can hold back no longer. My time is now, I care not what the world gives me because I have come to terms with myself, let me now explain my anger, my pain and my frustrations as it relates to you (the world).

2010-08-02T13:49:00.001-04:00

Beware of Darkness that you fear, it comes from within. It comes to extinguish the light of life.

his soul is blank from your footprint - draft

2010-04-13T09:34:00.000-04:00

Being tired never felt so painful as it does right now. I guess its the lonlieness on top of it that really hurts. I feel like I have been transported back in time to when I remember being the most tired, and the lonlienest I have ever been. Now I am under different circumstances but the feelings are quite the same.

There is a painful remorse over something that I can not quite put my finger on. There is something brewing in my subconscious mind that is not yet ready to expose itself completly.

What have I become after such a long and drawn out change? What was the change for, and did I really change or did I just morph into a different likeness with all the old hatred and anger lurking beneath the skin. I feel as though I remain the same, yet everyone around me says how different I am. What can I say to them? There really is not a proper response beyond the idea that "I feel better", but its not true, I feel worse.

They are all blind and dumb with their own neurotic mindsets. They can not see past themselves, it is impossible for them to think about anyone else. They need me to be better, they must believe that I am not the man I used to be. If I was that man, if I was still him and I did not grow into the "man" they think they have all created, then the world they live in would be in danger of falling apart.

I know that I am the key that holds their lives in perfect order, I am the one that is able to do the things that they do not want to do. I am thier excuse for all things that go wrong in their world, I am the one who will hold them high above the burning truth that they dare not let their feet touch. I am not perfect, and I sure as hell am no god, but I am the perfect vessel to be used for their own devices. Insanity. Thats what this all really is, its all crazy, they think that they can control me, thats the saddest thing that I have ever discovered.

As time went on I found out that they were trying to control me. They were trying to control me through so many different ways. It makes me cry and laugh at the same time, I started to fall for their tricks, but as I grew, I finally understood what they were trying to do to me. I was being wasted on my own sweat, I had them all on my back and I carried them for miles through trenches of disgust and vile misguieded lies.

WHo were they to know the real me? They couldnt know the real me, they didnt want to live in reality. They only live in their own perceptions of reality, they want to distort everything so that they do not feel anything, or if they do feel something it is something that they can use to manipulate the world around them.

I have grown weary with all the distortions. I am barely able to think for myself anymore, I can not understand the thing I used to understand. I am haunted by memories that do not want to let go. Their claws are dug so deep into me that they have grown attached. I can not forget the things that I relive each day. Hanted by the visible images that have melted together like some stange inapropriate trip that should never be taken by anyone ever.

This is me. This is the life I lead, not neccasarly the life that I chose to lead, but rather it just is what it is. Now how the fuck do I deal with it? Is there any chance for me? Is there any way that I could ever dream of escaping from it all? Or am I just doomed to be me, and to be controlled by them?

Answer: The more I fight the weaker I get. The more I fight the less I become in my own world. The more I fight the more I lose. No one listens, no one even wants to listen, so therefor trying to prove a point to any of these beings is trule futile. There is nothing to win, no agrument that can be settled, no opinon to be changed, there will be no lifestyle to be altered. So what then is the answer? The answer is that I am really what I want to be, I must however understand that they are who they are. Notihng will ever change, there are no words to be uttered, no songs to that can be written, no more discoveries, there is nothing that can change the way in which my life interacts with the others around it.

Nothing can change them. I could turn them into black, and there would simply be another one to take over that spot. I can see only repetitivness in the world today. nothing new. nothing...this is the thoughts that I dwell on, but I never knew it before...I live for ... nothing. Nothing is all there is in this world. Nothing is the answer to the question...nothing. I can never change them, I can never change myself, growth will never occur in this world. It is a stagnent world. It is a dry world. dust blows freely into my open eyes and I dont blink from irritation, I dont blink from pain, there is no tear to wash away the particals that clog my vision.

I am my own nothing in the vast wastleand of my own existance. I am nothing to be seen, nothing to be heard, and I am nothing to be felt.

They are nothing. They are the absence of all things that make up anything. They can not of their own accord actually do anything. They must obey the rules of nothingness, they can not achieve somthing that would take them out of nothingness. That is the desperate truth...

Nothing, repels all that is. IS, thats the word that we want to achieve but never can. If moments define us, then we as nothings are defined by the absence of IS in our life.We stand still, never moving, never going on, we only are, but there IS nothing to give us definiton of charachter. We can be defined by others, but as for us defining ourselves that may be impossible. That would take creativity, that would take thought, and the people who control me and use me, have a perverse sense of what thiniking means, and what creativity means. They are people who can only see their own selfish goals, desires, whatever they may be called. This is what their group promotes, the nothing. They will create nothing new, they will ony destroy, the death of civilization is microcosimed into their own lives. They represent what it means to be useless life forms.

What they do is prey upon others, creating only in the prey, a defeated and tired pshyche. Depression sets it, lonlieness and self deprication take over what might have been a healthy mind to start. But they can not live with the idea that their is a healty free thinking expressive mind living near them so they must go out and corrupt it and try to tame it before that mind breaths positivity into the fresh minds of the world around them.
This can not be tolerated by them, they need to tear down any hopes and dreams, but they must make it seem like it is the fault and failure of the parents and the person involved.

So whoever I am it is decided that I need to break free from the path them.

Pondering....

2010-03-30T11:46:00.000-04:00

Just when I thought it was a new begininng, it became real to me that it was just another end; to any hope that life could be more than just continuous moments of pain and letdown. What's the point, that is the question I ponder now, and it is the question I have always pondered ever since I discovered other people.

random

2010-02-10T14:42:00.000-05:00

...I shall leave you the way that I found you

Trying to Identify the UnIdentifiable...

2010-02-10T10:43:00.002-05:00

There are simply some things that will never be the same. While walking around I see so much that will never come back to being. For example communication is not a lost cause it is rather one that has evolved into a whole new creature. It has lost its tale as it were; it has become something more complex and something much more dangerous.

The days of passing a note in class are if not already gone they are on their way out. Why pass a note in class if you are in grade school or high school when it’s much easier to pass a Text message. Its faster, it’s less likely to be found by a teacher, and you don’t have to pass it between five other people to get it to its destination. Those people handling your note won’t get the chance to take a quick read before passing it on. There will be no risk of them reading it and then passing it to their friends before hopefully it gets to where it’s going and you won’t get made fun of for asking a girl or guy out.

The ease of communication now allows for quick up to date thoughts to be passed around. The danger of course is that with anything that is done through computers is that there seems to always be a trace of that message someone where. In the past you could just throw the note out, or burn it if you felt that it was necessary. But with the computer you cannot control the message once it is sent out. It dangles out in some strange untouchable universe waiting for someone to find it.

The email, the text, the social networks bring people close together with an awkwardness that has never been known to mankind. Although the ability to talk to friends and family or to meet someone new is amazing, it brings with it a new and strange loss with it. The loss of privacy and security. Once someone enters the internet universe they become instantly attached to everyone else. The six degrees of separation are now one accidental key stroke away from being brought face to face to a world one may not ready to encounter. The loss of singularity exposes social anxiety instead of social comfort.

Now when people leave the house they are not just themselves but they bring with them all the social connections that come along with them. They can be recognized by people that they may or may not have ever known. A “stranger” does not exist like it used to. Someone may have just seen your social page and now knows way too much about you and your family. The idea that someone can know you without ever meeting or talking to you opens up a new world of interconnecting loss. The loss of individuality ….

This is our new curse that we as a planet now face…No more me, no more you…so then who or what is left. Mankind exists as the leftover aborted identity of an age that no longer can survive. We are the afterbirth of a generation that is longer relevant the way that they used to be.

Androgynous Us…Androgynous Me…Androgynous World

I need to kill off more often.

2010-02-08T10:18:00.001-05:00

So heres the story:

A man comes from nothing to make it big, the American dream you know? Yeah it aint original but as with most things in life there are many twists and turns, and this story has enough to break your fucking arm off. This one comes with a twist so bad its sexy as all hell. Five foot Seven and Dark hair, with native eyes, and legs that could connect the poles. Typical to women this one in particular she is evil to the core, but the original part is that she doesnt know the depth of the disaster that she is, and she could be the female version of the midas touch, except instead of turning everything to gold, she turns everything to miserey.

Before she enters the scene the man is a complete wreck, coming out of hell, and living in sin. And by sin it means to him, that he is shoving blow up his nose as fast as his checks can be cashed. He is swimiming in alchohol and pain, living a life that the movies wish that they could portray. Hookers, strippers,drugs,bloody murder on the mind that almost turns to reality. This is his hell and this is his pain, what could save him from this? What beautiful angel, what Jesus sent being will take him out of the darkness and throw his body and soul into the light?

He can be heard quite often calliing out to any God who might be listenting, any being in the celestrial world who might take time out to give a fucking shit about his pathetic existence.

Moaning and Groaning, another emo fucker that can kiss my ass, thats what your thinking, but no I am afraid that you are way off, way to far from the bullseye. This is no whiner, and this is no emo piece of shit, this is a modern man, this is a man among men, he is a profit in the making, the one who will lead no one anywhere but boy will he shine, and boy will he be talked about for years and years, well maybe for months at a time.

So lets not get too far off the topic here, lets not stray and stay level on this one person, because after all his misery is only minor compared to what happens after he comes into the light. The light of love will kill him, it will devour the very essence of hope. Love is not what it ever seems to be, it is hell, it makes the strong, weak and open for infection. Love is a disease used by the evil to wipe out anyone who believes in anything but at all.

The beautiful disaster comes in with sudden secrecy, with deception on her mind, holding disaster in her purse. The find a man prime for the picking, lets be specific here, she found him out and lured him into her web and then injected him with some kind of paralyizing serum. Once infected with the poison he is hers to be sucked dry of all that he can offer. There is no escape from the harm that will be done and inflicted upon him.

She is Legend, He is History.

Lets begin shall we...The story of Coffee, Wine and Designer Death through disembowelment, Oh the wonderful emasculation of Man...and the Reinstatment of Violence in Manhood.

Hidious You...Exposed intro.

2010-01-29T10:40:00.000-05:00

You think you know. But its impossible for you to know. Your awkwardly blind you cant understand anything. The thoughts that you have are so backward and misguiuded you have no idea how evil, and disgusting you really are. The life inside you is being snuffed out by your own blackness, there was never a chance for life to exist in your world. You are hell, your nothing more that a facade waiting to be exposed for who you really are, you are nothing...

Scared of your own shadow. Scared of the mirror becasue you know that beyond the initial relfection there is a hidious face. Created in sin you have become what you were inspired by. There is no hope for the soul that rejects compassion.

The death of the monster inside you, the one that controls you, is the only hope you have. The beast within can be destroyed but you are so wrapped up in the beast that it would kill you to kill it. What to do? You are now one in the same, there is no hope. Another life lost to the hopelessness of hatred and disgust for ones self.

What to do, indeed?

death talk

2010-01-23T10:37:00.000-05:00

Oh! Death! Why not Become Me? I have longed to be Thee?

Maybe we can have a meeting sometime and talk over your options?

Well, see, that would be great. Its all about planning and getting rid of all hope.

Indeed it is, that is my way of seeing things. Get rid of all hope and everything will become clear.

Clear enough.

Indeed.

So what time is good for you I would like to be high on the list.

I will push you forward, if anyone cancells out early and tries to obtain hope I will call you.

That would be great, some idiot will fall for that trick I am sure of it.

Well until then stay bleak, drink heavy and believe in nothing.

Good advice I will be dutiful.

Fleshless Parnoid World

2010-01-23T10:30:00.000-05:00

Does anyone actually still believe that they are who they think they are? Or is it now just a realized fact that you are who the world thinks and rethinks you into being? There is no way that we can have total ultimate control over ourselves and what we want the end product to be. We are born, reborn, then die and die agian, then born again etc. The life chain of change. ALterted moments, destroy our perceptions of reality. We are never who we think we are, we are created manifistations of numbers and digitized moments.

Flesh no longer exists. Not the kind that we touch. There is just an assortment of binary texts that create ideas that never existed. Welcome to the cave of unreality, welcome to the ultimate downer. You don't exist, You don't live, you dont live in a matrix, there is now matrix, there is nothing.

The idea of God is more real than the idea of I.

Ramblings, pain, anxiety and living in the an alternate universe

2010-01-22T10:07:00.000-05:00

If you feel fortunate your not, If you feel lucky or blessed your not. There is everything except hope and love left for this world. We were born into the darkness, there is no great fight to join, there are no more causes with giving a damn about. All the money is gone, all the virtue is vanishing, and it is all being replaced with ideas that do not exist beyond the intangible world. Everything that we do connect with is not real, and the real that is out there is connected through the conncections of an invisible crystal clear mirage.

I have tried numerous times to reach inside of the mirage and pull out the beautiful that is there before me. Nothing. I can not reach it, and I can not achieve anything like it on this side of reality. So that leaves me to believe that the only world worth living inside of is the other world. Impossible to be absorbed, to be recreated, reborn inside of the alternate universe.

I want to exist in a world where I have choices, real or not! I want to exist inside a world that will let me stretch my intellect and boast my own thoughts without restrictions. This is freedom! Freedom from the restrictive design that the flesh binds me in. I want to travel to places with just a thought, I want to know all the information there is to know about whatever I want, when I want, and then be able to file it away and not be bothered by it until I want to retrieve it. I want total control over my mind and my emoitons, I am tired of others have control over the way I feel. My life needs to be my life, and I need that other world free from this damnation called humanity. What good comes from caring and loveing? None! All it ever brings is tears and anxiety and pain, why would anyone want to live in this terrorist driven existence. Constantly bombarded by thoughts and pains of others, never knowing what anyones true intent is, and never knowing where you stand in relation to others. This is torture, it is hell, it is life.

I am tired I guess of being beaten down, beaten up, pushed around, and run over. I have stood up for myself for too long and its just not worth the fight anymore, I am only me and thats all I can ever be, I can try to be the best me that there is, but I can not be the me the world wants me to be. This is where the great escape finds its glory.

An exert from a story that has yet to be written...

2010-01-20T10:12:00.000-05:00

she opened her legs. this is how it began. the lust was gone from both of us. nothing was exciting or arousing anymore. she opened her legs. the kind of moments couples cherish were not the moments we had anymore. our passion is now different. it has not vanished completly rather it has morphed into a new passion. this current passion is warm. it is sticky. she opened her legs. my mind could not escape the trapping harness of the new passion. it was a curious thing to think about death. it is a wonderful thing to experience the power. death is the ultimate mind game. it entices images from bleak to scandelous to impossible. she opened her legs.As I ran my hand through my sweating hair,

I watched with anicipation as her shearing scissors slid up her naked inner thigh. nothing. nothing happened. my pulse increased with the dissapointment. she opened her legs. she winced as she repeated her moment with applied pressure. this time spots of blood broke through her white skin. she opened her legs. she needed the courage to continue. her eyes looked up at me as i stood above her. proud with a large smile I stood. she nodded her head slowely and dug the shears into the meaty part of her inner leg. she held firm with the blade sunk deep inside of her.quick with intent she pulled the scissors toward herself and burst an artery. she opened her legs. quickly before she passed out her last verb was to dig that pair of scissors into her other leg. she succeeded. I stood sticky with her will dripping off of me. I so proud could only signify her success with applause. my own roaring applause. she did it. she is perfect. she is wonderful. she opened her legs for me. I couldnt be happier..

New Thoughts on Old Lies...Coming soon

2010-01-09T20:20:00.000-05:00

I am working on writing my thoughts down about the people I despise and why. I have finally come face to face with the reality that I am fed up with everyone. I hate the way that I am forced to feel about myself, why the hell should I feel that the way I am is in any way less than human. I have strength that I rarely let out, I hold my tongue and I watch my actions, but it seems that the time is ripe for me to exercise my right to express myself again.

Life changes and it does so because people put their mind and body to a test of character...Its like a nuclear explosion when it happens, it flattens out everyone in its path, they don't even know what hit them, but they do know that something happened. Words have the power to flatten out entire populations...

The countdown is on...God help us all.

No Word Neccasary

2009-12-19T21:16:00.000-05:00

Turn the lights down low, turn the volume up, close your eyes and have a drink and a moment.

Echoes of Authenticity

2009-12-18T13:56:00.002-05:00

The nightmares, the inner searching of my mind is driving me insane. Every night I go to sleep and feel as though I am being blindfolded and walking towards a cliff. I know something horrible is going to happen but I am just not sure exactly when it is going to come, and that fear is what is killing me. I cannot take the constant barrage of pain that comes in and out of my consciousness. I am sick from the pain. I have had pain that should never be felt by anyone at anytime, and it has stained me to the bone. When I sleep I dream of the pain and it manifests itself into different forms, sometimes repeating the same form from night to night. I have tried not to let anyone know about this, there are of course a couple of people that know but my conversations with them have drifted. There is only so much that a person can hear about another person's pain, so it leaves me alone and in search of a release from what is building up inside of my head.
Echoes
They are echoes that bounce around inside of my head, they cannot be released and the pressure that is building is making it hurt worse; it is compounded by new a new and darker reality that has come over me. I never saw it coming or if I did see it coming then I surely did not respect it at the time and if I would have I surely would change my path. What can a man do when he is dying from the inside out and the outside in? The options are few, and the motivation to be relieved is dwindling away because in the end I am losing hope.
The nightmares they drudge up memories and distort them like some kind of mental publicity rag. My essence, my being is being tossed around and altered and yet I cannot tell anymore what is or is not real in my own head. The call from the outside world does not penetrate anymore my spirit is thick with the buildup of disappointment. In my dreams I am constantly tortured physically, and yet I am always looking outward towards others and their pain. The pain that they feel and the pain that I see going on in my dream world is worse than my own. In fact the pain that is inflicted upon me is what my inner spirit is doing to itself as it watches others get hurt, I must feel their pain, and that is where my inner scars come from. When my flesh falls from my own dream body it is because I am watching someone else's pain being delivered to them. I cannot handle others pain!
To watch others hurt is to realize that I am human, they are human and what is it that I can do to help them or myself. Nothing. There is nothing that can be done because we don't want to stop the pain. To stop the pain of others would mean that there would be no more distractions from ourselves, and we would have to focus on our own pain. My pain is the pain of others; it is the pain that dwells in the interconnection from me to the world. What does this mean to me as I sit here alone pondering what to do next?
I need to wake up, I need to wake up, I need to wake up.
Buzz, Buzz, Buzz, Buzz

Lost in a New Media World

2009-12-07T21:18:00.003-05:00

When I was growing up and literally did not have the internet around, much less a television until I was about 9 years old I remember my parents and other adults talking. I would here them say things about them being just a "number" in a system. This number usually related to their sociall security number, and as my mother would attest to, her student i.d. number. As I grew up and I went to college for the first time I realized what they were talking about, I really was just a number to the school. I did not even have to put my name on exams, we were required to put our person number down. My identity at that point was being challenged on a very small scale. A number sequence was taking place of my parentally given name. That was the school and the government changing my identity, now we along with them change our identities on a daily basis. This is the new world Dis-Order of New Media and technology in our lives.

So with all of these post leading to one confusing conclusion...Who the hell are we? How do we filter through all of the information? Technology is part of our world and it does play a magjor role in defining us as individuals and it also groups us together. The constant changing of how we look at ourselves and how we are assoicated to the rest of the world brings out a inner anxiety that has never been known. The new world media that we are living inside of creates a fun house mirror effect on our psyche. WIth distortions and changes happening all the time we are constnatly reinventing ourselves to conform to some strange and uncanny idea of what it means to be "I".

How many profile names do you have? Do you have old ones that you never use anynmore and then suddenlty come across them and it gives an strange feeling when you see the names and identifacations that you once had associated yourself with?

So ask yourself who are you? I will try and answer the question for
myself as a template to give an example for exlporation in my search for identity.

I am many things to many different people in many different situations. I am a man, a father, a stepfather, a divorcee, are again married man. I am disabled permanatly, I am a student, I am a writer. I am all my screen names associated through different accounts, I am my bank account, I am my credit score. I am 35 years old. I am tattooed, I am a son, I am a brother, I am a half brother I am an ex-husband. I am my social security number, I am my license plate number, I am my phone number, I am a consumer and a producer. I am a voter, I am U.S. citezen, I am a New York State resident, I am heterosexual, I am a Generation X member.......I AM ALL THESE THINGS and MORE...I Am Seth.

Which person am I in the crowd? Am I in the crowd? Is my image transported and put into the crowd making me part of a crowd that I never was part of? Through technology we are becoming displaced with our images. Getting lost in a crowd is easier now more than ever, because we place our pictures up for anyone to take and manipulate...DANGER!

Try and seperate one of these identitifacations from the pack and it will not be just me, I am the sum of the whole but what is the sum? I am identified by what people see me as through their identity. I am seen according to the interaction in the world. I am all and I am nothing without know or trying to understand the whole.

Through modern communication it becomes easier to change ones identity to the world but it is no increasingly difficult to label yourself for all to understnad the same opinon of who I am. I can log into many different account and reinvent myself, I can make things up and become the new profile. I can become whoever I want to be in the other world of the internet. If gives me the ability to morph in and out of identities. This is where the confusion can can from. I have to keep track of who I am to different people, and whether on purpose or not I will get lost eventually in multiple personalities of modern humanity.

There should be no questions of why and how so many people use anti-anxiety drugs or depression medication. The reasons are plentiful, people are losing their minds when they try and understand themselves and who they are, and then when they get some kind of assemblance they are rejected by the world and told they are wrong and reclassified. Paranoia comes from not trusting the world or yourself.

In essence we are the hyper connected hodge podge of all these identities that come together to form a persona that helps us identitfy with the world around us, but also it helps the world connect and indentify with what we are and become. We become dependent on each other, there is an unbreakable connection between the I and the Them.

The idea that I am one without the other breaks down the interconnectability of self and the surrounding world.

We now live in the Generation of WHO? The hyperconnected collective mind. This is new World Media according to me.

Who are You....

Who are you? Says the Catapillar

2009-12-05T09:19:00.001-05:00

In this scene we can see where the confusion of identity in a strange new world can be become frustrating and scarey. Alice is all of us in the world trying to find out who we are while travelling along through new technologies designed to give instant answeres to questions we have not even thought of yet. She was Alice before, she is still Alice now, but for some reason she has lost her sense of who she is in this world.

An outsiders blog about Identity with Technology

2009-12-02T11:16:00.001-05:00

This is a blog I found titled "Unlinking ourselves through technology" by:

Mar 11th, 2008 by Ivo Quartiroli

Click on the title of the this post for a direct link to the Blog.

The unknown world

2009-11-28T12:54:00.002-05:00

What happened to the hero? What happened to honor? Where did our integrity and humanity go? Why am I right and your wrong? WHo are you and who am I, and who will you become if I kill you? There are no more heros there are only pawns that lack identity that will be used and abused by the invisible powers. Can we become an Identity seperate from the one that is placed upon us by the world through media and technology?

On this day of days We were We. We were the heros of the day. We were the Allies. A united front against the Axis of Evil. This was the identity of our men and women. We were the identitfied as freedom and aggression against those who opposed our Identity or tried to wipe out anothers identity. This is us, then....As time goes by what happened to our identity does it stay the same? Of coure not, we like a child grow and become proud and rebellious against our own nature.

Then not to longer after we new who we were we became caught up in a war that almost no one of my generation could tell you anything about. It is often referred to as the forgotten war. The bombs got bigger, the rifles became better the death tolls increased but the understanding of who and what we were became dissillusioned.

The we became everything that was lost in trying to discover ourselves. We became the bastard ideas born out of confusion and expansionism. Who were we, we were a nation, a world divided amongst itselves. All the communication devices that were being developed could not convey anything that could unify us. Lost insided our confusion there was only one thing left for us to do. We had to pick a fight and we fought agianst everything and everyone, we killed ourselves in the name of nothing. We hated everything that was differnt without an effort to try and understand it, there was no compassion for the other in the world of forced identity. Who were we? Who would we become? None of it mattered as long as someone, somewhere was trying to control us and them. This is a war against indivuidula identiy that never ended. It has carried on into current times and events. NOthing is changing except for technology and scenery. The hatred of a minute has turned into the hatred of the unknown.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NZ975hR64dc

Aggression finds its way out of the abyss inside of my psyche. Come on step forward into this great new world and help me discover who I want you to be! This is not your wold anymore, this is not your destiny, this is the world of my creation. Plug in or be turned off completly and your unit will be absorbed into my being and you will be consumed, that is your choice.

We are the Unkown. Try and define.

The cost of war = an attempt to identify and solidify one group over another group. Through technology we have learned to kill better, quicker and to anhilated all sense of who someone is. Shouldnt the goal of technology be that of unity, and allowing the individual to step forward to stand for who they are in a world full of other indivduals without being afraind to stand alone, when they can be alone in a group of others that are they themselves individuals. Through media, and the interenet we have been led like dogs into war, death, destruction, all in the name of claming our identity through a country.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SytziB82B_k

This is incomplete it will be continued soon....commment on identity, war, and technology in the new world of loss and absence of self.

2009-11-21T20:35:00.000-05:00

I walk into a store in the mall today. I am looking for a shirt for my son. A table full of individual piles, all stacked with the largest sizes on the bottom forming a tower to the top where the smallest sizes are located. I step back and look at the table, all piled together, similar, no the same. Somewhere in this town there will be individual children all walking around with the same shirts. Nothing different, all the same, same color. What happens when they meet each other some day?

"Hey that boy is wearing my shirt." boy 1

"Hey that boy is wearing my shirt" boy 2

"Hey that boy is wearing my shirt" boy 3

The identity crisis ensues...

Who is who? Who defines who? Is it Ambercrombie & Fitch? Who defines us as? How are we defined...

Are we beyond definition. Is there anyway to find ourselves in this world of hyper consumerism! Eat me alive while we stand alone and die, we are becoming a compost heap of designer bile.

2009-11-20T10:17:00.000-05:00

Belief in your identity can become disheartening. Who am I? Is a question that burdens all people. The realization that who we think we are and who we really are (if there is a reality) creates fertile soil for anxiety and paranoia to flourish in. Who creates the identity? And what identity means to us as society throughout the world will be the the theme of the blogs that continue from here on out. There will be small posts to ignite thoughts from different areas of study to show how people try and identify themselves. How we are forced into certain identifications, and is there a way to break out and create our own identity that can exist in a world that does not encourage understanding oneself in response to the 'other'?

I will also try in subsequent posts to identity myself or rather to show all of my own identities and hopefully I will not come out feeling schizophrenic.

Hopefully resulting in outside thoughts and opinons from the

world outside of mine own.

Who is that Looking at me in the mirror?

2009-11-17T11:50:00.000-05:00

The strange, the bizarre, the curious...these are things that we all deal with on a daily basis. This is more evident now more than ever. In a world where identity is become a term that is hard to nail down it drives the individual mind to become self aware that it is nothing but a connected part of a greater whole.

Constantly hooked up. Connected to everything. The information never stops, it never ends, we cannot rid ourselves of being connected and identified through a million different faces. These leaves us paralyzed from fear, from becoming something that is nothing in a unrealistic world. A world of the unknown.

I am a man, unless I decide to create myself as women online, then I am a man, who is living as a woman in the world of the Internet. My sexual and moral beliefs become nothing anymore as they are recreated inside the other world. I can change myself feature by feature inside this world or the other world. I can speak other languages, I can become a single woman with no kids, when in the other world I am a married man with three kids. This ability to change and keep changing ones identity leaves us feeling lost in a world that doesn't know who we are.

We don't know we are and maybe some of us don't ever want to find out who were or are. But the idea remains that we are all being constantly remade, recreated, reconstructed, but we are losing ourselves.

The way that we as a society struggle to claim ourselves from the pool of identifications can in itself help create a new identity. How do we go about gaining access to what we are or will be? Is is through the Internet, is through family orientation, is it sexual identity, is a job or career, or is it the GAPS in between everything that exists in so creating a new unique identity?

How do you identify yourself, who are you and who told you who your are? Is it you, or is it stamped upon you? The questions will never stop coming, and the answers may never surface out of the abyss of confusion.

A tool to help find ourselves in this modern world, could be suggested is that we need to get back into the text. Go back to the books, the novel, and then communicate what is read to others, the interpretations that we gain from the words are a way to unmask ourselves to ourselves.

Who is that person in the mirror?

2009-11-15T10:33:00.000-05:00

Confusion comes from asking the question "who am I?" the impossible answers that come out of it can destroy people. Although we are constantly changing our identities we are rarely open to the idea that it is happening. So when confronted with this idea, it forces us to look at ourselves in an uncomfortable and disturbing way.

We see ourselves for who we thought we were, but then once the realization of the new self coming out, they do not mesh. They conflict, they disturb one another, they bring strange and uncanny thoughts into our minds. The resulting effects of finding out we are not who we thought we were, often means that the world that we are living in is not one that we thought existed. We were blindfolded. We could never see what was really out there in front of us, it had become a dark and bloody facade.

The world is different, and we are different, it was never actually there, it was instead never there, and we were never there. It is was all an UN-illusion a life that never existed but we created to cope with the new unbalanced universe of information that is constantly combating our brain and bodies. This new world of the unseen is revealing to us a vast and unimaginable waste that land that we once called home. Where did we vanish to if we as we thought we knew ourselves never really existed?

Pain delivers Reality

2009-11-14T17:57:00.000-05:00

We all feel pain many times over in our lives. Pain helps to keep reality in focus. When we are not in pain we tend to drift into a dream like world, one where bliss seems achievable. This other world where everything seems possible, where anxiety and paranoia do not exist.

This existence is because of the lacking, or rather the space between bliss and reality. The connecting force is pain. It can be physical pain that grips us and throws us back into the real world; taking away the feeling of happiness.happiness is the unattainable emotion the feelings that just tingle the outside of our skin, but never penetrate deep enough to stay with us.

When pain comes it crashes everything around us, it destroys all hope for that moment. It may subside but the seed is planted and the pain although not evident hovers over the consciousness of our life, reminding us that at any moment the happiness that we may be feeling is just a painful moment away from being destroyed.